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Hola! I'm Clarita

creator of the Bloom Where You Are Planted Blog

I created the Bloom Where You Are Planted (BWYAP) blog to share my story and support women/parents who are struggling with pregnancy loss. Please know that you are not alone, I understand because I have been there too. You can expect to read about anything, starting from ways to cope when trying to conceive to encouraging prayers or 10 ways to prep for your next Thanksgiving meal. Join me on life’s journey, lets share and learn from each other so together we can bloom.

 
 
 
  • Clara Aguilar

5 Resolutions for Parents Who Experienced a Miscarriage, Infant Loss or Pregnancy Loss



Mood & Music - Today, let’s unwind to Spotify’s Mellow Beats Playlist as we read resolutions that keep us supported and encouraged this year.


Today, I would like to share 5 resolutions that can be very beneficial to parents, men or women who experienced a miscarriage, pregnancy loss or infant loss. This new year is about new beginnings and if this year did not start off as you planned don’t worry, we are gonna figure it out together. I prayed and choose these 5 resolutions because whoever is reading this list really needs the help and encouragement to move forward. You may not know how, so hold my hand and let’s start on the path to healing this year.


1. Spend More Time Together as a Couple

I can’t emphasize this resolution enough. On the journey to parenthood, the emotional and physical strain on both mother and father is tremendous. It’s vital that as a couple, you find time to talk and spend time with each other by doing things you enjoy. Make it FUN! Go to your favorite places or restaurants. Take a vacation. The point is to connect and love each other through the healing, to remind each other that you can get through this experience of loss together. The bond you share is heavenly and such a precious part of your story. Remember, the happier you are as a couple, united and at peace the better your energy will be towards future pregnancies.


My Experience - In healing from our pregnancy loss last year, Rafa and I would do our best to go out and do things we enjoyed. When an emotion hit, we would cry it out or just talk about how we felt. The important part was I knew he was there for me and I was there for him.


2. Memorialize Your Angel Baby

From my experience, after any loss, we always want something physical to hold onto, like a photo, keepsake or personal item. After a pregnancy loss, I think there are two types of people, one that want to keep everything or the other who wants nothing. I was the latter, who didn’t want stuff to memorialize, I only wanted my baby. It's okay. You will know when your ready to memorialize your baby, make a keepsake box or plant flowers in their name. The important thing is that you do something. I believe it helps in the healing process. I know that material items could never replace your angel baby, but it helps to keep their memory alive.


My Experience - I have 3 angel figurines, 2 for my miscarriages and 1 for Sofia (baby loss at 20wks last year) on my tv console. When I’m cleaning up or watching tv, I will catch a glance and know my babies are always near. I feel comforted by this.


3. Pray

I pray to God, you pray to who you believe in. I believe prayer works. I prayed a lot after my pregnancy loss because I was angry. I was broken into a million pieces and needed help to put myself together again, so I prayed. Some of you reading this may think how can you pray to a God who took your baby away? My answer. I believe God has a purpose, a greater purpose I do not know. I am not the only one that struggles through life with loss, many people do. God took nothing from me, instead he gave me something beautiful. He made me a mother to 3 beautiful baby angels. I experienced the wonder of pregnancy, the flutters in my belly and the joy of being parents with my husband. An unbreakable bond with a man I love and adore. Yes, I pray.


My Experience - God helped me pick up the pieces of my heart and create something beautiful, for starters this blog, which is inspiring many and helping me continue to heal. I am also looking into becoming an online leader for HopeMommies.org to help bereaved parents through their pregnancy loss with the love of Christ.


4. Connect with Others

Start a blog. Follow a Blog. Join a Cause. Find a Support Group. Join an Online Support Group. Follow Inspiring Groups, like @bloomwyapblog on Instagram (wink, wink). Visit online or in person, connect with other people or couples who are going through the experience of pregnancy loss and are still trying to conceive. I feel comforted when I read another person’s story, it helps me feel supported. Like I can get through this shi**y experience and come out on the other side, finding joy in my story. There are people, who I have never met, when I read their blog or inspirational quotes give me hope on my down days, they have made me smile, when my tears started to flow. Even beautiful photos and quotes on social media, that give me hope for my future #rainbow baby. There is power in connecting with others who share a similar experience, so find your tribe.


My Experience - I was given gift basket from another Mommy, who experienced 2 stillbirth and donated gift baskets (in memory of her angelbabies) to the hospital where I delivered. Her basket included a card, where she offered her condolences and phone number if ever wanted to chat. When I was ready, I did reach out. Her name is Dina, she is a friend now, so motivating to me and has been such a blessing in my life. We are planning on going to a support group together. I believe she is an earth angel, God sent to help me on my journey. #blessed I also found amazing support and information online, here are a few of my favorite websites like HopeMommies.org, Tommys.org and PregnancyAfterLossSupport.com. #mustfollow on IG and FB.


5. Talk About Your Angel

Talk about your angel babies when you feel comfortable and ready to do so. Your baby was here and existed, even if they are heavenly beings. They were a part of you, your family. It was your daughter/son but also a niece/nephew, granddaughter/grandson, godchild. Everyone, aunts, uncles, sisters, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, or close family friends loss a baby too and should be remembered by all. At first, it may be uncomfortable because family or friends may not want to see you sad but eventually you will remember your baby and smile. Just as you wept, now you will smile because you loved them so much. Share about things that happened during your pregnancy, moments you enjoyed, how you memorialize your angel baby, or things your doing to cope. We all have experienced loss in one way or another, so many people can relate with feelings of grief. When there is a loss of any kind, we don’t just forget, it’s important to remember the good times. It reminds us how important the ones we love are to us.


My Experience - I like to share about things during my pregnancy. Like when I eat avocados, I can’t help but remember I hated them with a passion, when I was pregnant. I share this with my family from time to time because I absolutely FREAKIN’ love avocados. #haha


I hope this post encouraged and inspired you on ways to get through this part in our journey. I say "our" because I am still healing from my losses too and it takes time. Please know, I am here for you. Let me know in the comments, some of the resolutions you are gonna try or new ones I did not mention. I would love to read.



Shine Brightly,

Clarita


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